Knoxville

Yesterday was quite a day. I finally had enough willpower to get out of the library on my own, leaving aside all worriness, to take a little walk to downtown Knoxville.
The city is a bit small and empty, relatively to Hanoi. After a couple hours shopping, I walked back from the Market Square (the center of downtown) to Knoxville Convention Center, through the World Fair Park, along the Strip and back to my apartment. On the way, I barely saw anybody, there were only disconnected cars running up and down the streets. In the park, which covers a large area with beautiful playing field and lovely view, there is still no one there for any reason. I have to give it to Knoxville, that it is just as beautiful as any other city could be. However, its beauty is like that of Paris Hilton, which is more like a one-time entertainment, and which is definitely hard to embrace in an intimate manner.
During my walk, a few drops of rain felt on my jacket. Not much, it was just enough to wet my all hot and 'bothered head. Usually it'd be good, because it would cool me down and let me free of pressure. Unfortunately, all the rain did this time was to make Knoxville even emptier and more disconnected to me, to urge me to come back to where I really belong.
Hanoi has never treated me in such a way. Taking a walk through Hanoi streets always make me a bit better, regardless of what happens to me or how I feel at the moment. The smiles of Hanoian are natural, giving one a familiar feeling in spite of the fact that he or she might be surrounded by complete strangers. The trees, the houses, the busy streets and even the sky might individually be the same as that of Knoxville, but they somehow connect to one another so closely that I myself feel being a part of them. It is the reason I could hardly imagine someone feels lonely in Hanoi. With a group of friends, the Sword Lake cherishes our friendship with its tradition, the West Lake with joys, and the newly created Mydinh area with opportunity. When I'm by myself, I know I can always come to Van Mieu- Quoc Tu Giam, where I grew up and where I can be inspired by its thousand-year spirit. And there has been more than once when I faced failures, the hidden Tay Ho pagoda then welcomed me with its warmness, listened to my prayers, and told me everything would be ok again...
One afternoon in the summer of 1994, I had my first serious accident while riding a bicycle. Before I could fell hurt falling down, it suddenly rained like it never did. It washed away the blood on my face, cooled down the burning wound on my arm, hid away the tears in my eyes, raised me up on my feet so that I could continue my away home. I was 9 at the time. Six years later, a sudden summer rain came again, but this time to dance with my joy of getting into the Hanoi- Amsterdam High School- school for the gifted...
Countless moments Hanoi embraces me and the converse. It is around me, in me, and a part of me. Naturally and unconditionally, it is how my love has been. So, all my life, being around Hanoi, in Hanoi, and a part of Hanoi is all I ever long for.
-nxh