Missing home!

I've been drafting the second part of my Hanoi passion for quite awhile now, yet able to produce a result. The first part is merely typical; it is in the second part that I aim to distinguish my love to Hanoi from others. I want to answer the questions of what and how.
"What can I do for Hanoi?"
and
"How will I approach my goal?"
Love is absolutely meaningless if it isn't proved by action. In this case, I particularly feel the urge of demonstrating my feelings in term of tangible goodness that can be measured, weighted, or counted, and that will directly benefit Hanoi and Hanoians. But it comes back to me the question of what and how, for which I thought I knew the answers. In my mind, I have always processed this vague plan of my future at home; however as soon as I start writing it down, it disappears like vapor in thin air. Perhaps, I have not an answer...
I feel extremely unstable these days. The urgency of getting things done, together with overwhelmingly many things to get done, result in a confusing state that I have no idea how to get through. The air seems harder to breathe that sometimes I find myself inhaling heavily for no defined reason. It might be the heat, or it might be the fact that people get to go back to Hanoi while I stuck here doing something I hate. The feeling of a grown-up, who now has unavoidable responsibilities, weights on my chest like an idle rock I just can't move. Why can't I do what I want to do? Probably because responsibility wouldn't be responsibility if you actually want it.
I have roughly 7 more years before I can focus entirely on my real desire. Seven years! Why 7, you might wonder. I'll tell you when we know each other better, but you can be sure that I can't wait until then, until the second I can say: "I'm done! I'm all for you now, my Hanoi!" I plan to make no other commitment during this time but to answer the mentioned questions. It may or may not be my destiny, but it is definitely the path I've chosen.
For a passion, I live!
-nxh