A vision

Third year! I have just completed my third year in college, but not yet been ready for the final one. I turned twenty-one earlier this year, which made me feel as if I had arrived to a stable stage of life. Well, I was wrong!
For a moment, I wonder about my future and where to go from here. Somehow the clear plan I had before doesn't seem so clear anymore. It consisted of one more year in college, few more years in a graduate school, and a settlement in my hometown. Then what? Plus, the idea of being away from Hanoi for another five or six years isn't so tolerable as it was once. On the one hand, I haven't been able to figure out the purpose(s) of my life; and on the other, it is killing me inside for Hanoi is too far away. I want nothing but to be back there, to live in the old crowded town of my birthplace, to be among family and friends. A simple life in Hanoi is enough for me!
…
I had a vision, and it has kept me wondering. Who says I can't go back there and endure a life I prefer? It might be too soon to carelessly give up a professional future, but it will be too late if I blindly follow something I am uncertain of. Now in my head, I see myself completing the current degree and postponing attending graduate school for at least a year or so. During that time, I can come back to Hanoi without any pressure, look for a random job and take the time to think about what I most desire. With my ability and open mindset, finding a job that affords the most basic needs won’t be very difficult. I can work as a waiter at some restaurant, or as a receptionist at some English center, or as a website designer for any company that has demand. I can work early in the morning, or late at night. I will work few days a week, just enough to pay the bills. For the rest of the time, I can read and write as I always want. I can bike around the city, explore places I have not known, and perhaps learn some history of the city as well. I am sure there is so much of Hanoi I want to be a part of.
A year in Hanoi without the tension of competitions sounds extremely compelling to me. It is neither too long, which may result in me being idle forever, nor too short as my vacations usually are. One year is just enough for me to search for and to experience the answer of my life, and to decide what and where I will go next. Maybe I will come back to graduate school, maybe I won't. Maybe I will find place in the city and feel satisfied, or maybe I will sign up for military services and start a political career. But that is still too far ahead. What I want now is simply Hanoi; and just that!
...
That was all a vision, a fascinating one I must add. Will I be able to turn it into reality? I shall try, for it is more meaningful to me now than any of those plans I have ever had. I need nothing, but Hanoi!
-nxh